I had to fight the zombie turkey… I ate most of it. I’m pretty sure it’s a zombie turkey because it keeps trying to come back. Give me the rest of the weekend to digest, and the blog posts will be up and running like normal. I hope everyone had an awesome Thanksgiving and we will see you Monday!
Till Fate brings our Future,
Turkey Day is almost among us. Despite what the doctor says, I’m going to pig out like there’s no tomorrow. Well if these guys have their way, there won’t be one.
In the spirit of what we are thankful for, I’m thankful that our turkys don’t look like this.
This last image was used with permission from the artist Rob Sacchetto. His zombie portraits are amazing! Check him out at www.zombieportraits.com. He is also running an Indigogo campaign to fund his own zombie comic book entitled Cape Fear. Take a look and consider helping the starving artist out! I mean you’ve already seen what his Thanksgiving dinner looks like.
Speaking of Thanksgiving dinners that are less than appetizing…
It’s eat them or they eat you. Take your pick. Even brainless it seems those zombie turkeys can be a pain.
So no matter what you are thankful for this Thanksgiving, I just want to tell all of our readers we are thankful for your continued support and we hope to keep bringing you the best in comic book entertainment!
Till Fate brings our Future,
Ah Thanksgiving. A time for family and friends to sit down and enjoy a great meal together. Time to reflect on the blessings one has had over the last year and hope that the future will be just as, if not brighter. Time for me to stuff my gut so full I’ll wish I had never been born. Then complain how fat I am. Just being honest.
As you are carving into the plump juicy turkey (note to self, never write blog hungry again…) let’s just say the zombies attack. Despite all your preparations, they were all done at your house, not your Aunt Sue’s house. There was no warning, there was no time, and you didn’t even get to get any of that turkey or stuffing. Ok I lied, you stole some stuffing while it was still in the kitchen, but hey now that the zombies are here, you’re really glad you did.
What are you going to do? Well, first thing I would do is grab the table cloth, and cover the turkey. If I make it out alive, I’ll want to eat it and I’m not sure that zombie goop goes well with breast meat. Now that your dinner is safe, it’s time to turn your attention to the walkers that are trying to eat Uncle Henry. Time to do some zombie killing, Thanksgiving style.
So if you have been reading my melee blogs all year, you will kind of already know what I have to say. You chairs can be used as weapons and shields. Your knives can be utilized as well. Have a kiddy table? It never has any of the food on it, so use this to protect you as well. Your goal should be do two things. 1. Get to a safer area to hide the less able and to arm yourselves, and 2. Take out all immediate threats so you can board up the home.
We have already gone over how to use kitchen knives, pans, and chairs, but let’s talk about some of the other things you might find at the table or in the kitchen to protect yourself.
Pots: You’re not going to be able to kill a zed with a pot more than likely, but you can make it easier to deal with them. Turn it over on it’s head and shove the cranium inside. At worst, you won’t get bitten, at best it may disorient the zombie enough to get it out of the house or at least stop it from attacking you for the time being.
Lamps: Bash those buggers over the head. If you’re lucky and get a floor lamp, try to get the base off of it, and you can use the body as a spear. If not, do your best to break those skulls with the lamp. You could also take the cords and try to restrain the arms and or legs of the zombie. Arms are more of a threat because getting scratched by a zombie could be just as deadly as getting bit. The disease and bacteria those things could have under their fingernails could make you really sick. So take the arms out of the equation first if you can.
Curio Cabinet: OK, your aunt will just have to get over her priceless porcelain elephant collection. Dump this on a zed to hopefully take him out. If not at least knock him down and then curb stomp em. The second thing this could do for you is create a barrier between you and the zed which will hopefully trip them up.
Anything heavy: Your electricity isn’t going to last long anyway, which will render that Keurig machine useless. Put it back into use by bashing in a zombie skull. Bread Boxes, spice racks, wine bottles, anything that could potentially knock someone out should be used to get to safety or at least better weapons. Get creative, and don’t be afraid to break stuff. Your aunt couldn’t use it if you hadn’t protected her from the zombies in the first place.
With some quick thinking you can get yourself to some good weapons like crowbars, baseball bats, or even guns. Just be sure silencers are used so you don’t attract more zed to you.
Once you have eliminated the zombies from the house, reinforce every possible entrance way to prevent them from getting back in. Then eat your meal in awkward silence. That turkey will be just as good cold, but set the gravy to the side. Nothing’s worse than cold gravy.
If you have any ideas for future melee weapon blogs or you just want to share your opinion on today’s blog, you can email or post in the comments below. You can also follow Dead Future on Facebook and Google +. You can also follow me on Twitter and Google +.
Till Fate brings our Future…
And to everyone who views this page we want to wish you all a Happy Thanksgiving.
-Till Fate brings our Future