Grim Crew Presents: Dead Future

If you read the Zombie Current Events blog from last week, you may recall that I said that I would like to go over the car design Robert Kirkman did for the 2013 Hyundai Elantra GT. Have you watched the video yet? I first found this on thestir.cafemom.com. Here’s the video below.

Did you catch the glimpse of the car design? Here’s a still frame.

I would have used the Bat Mobile as my base model but hey to each his own.

I just have one word for you Robert…”NO!” And I say that with all the ferocity of a trainer bonking his new puppy on the nose with a newspaper. Dude you make great books, but your car designs are a little lacking.

Where should I start, how about the wheels? Those spikes have to go. If you think about trying to get around in a zombie apocalypse, your going to have to deal with roadways cramped with crashed cars, city streets littered with zombies. It may look cool to have those spikes sticking out, but really they are only going to hamper you. You’ll get them stuck on cars as your trying to pass. They may take out the leg of a zombie, but then you have to worry about the leg getting stuck and slowing you down. Let’s also say you are trying to get back in the car while being chased by zombies. With those spikes on it, you would have to worry about dodging them before you could make it in the vehicle.

On top of the spikes, you put cage bars over the wheels. I understand the intention of this. He’s trying to prevent a zombie from getting stuck in the wheel well. But what happens when you blow a tire? You then have to take off the bars, not to mention the dangerous spike, before you can replace the wheel. If I’m changing a tire during a zombie attack I would want it as fast as possible so I can get my chubby butt back in the car. I don’t care if you’re on Tony Stewart’s pit team; you’re not changing a tire with bars over it in under a minute. You’re better off not having the bars. They won’t protect the wheel that much and the dangers of having them outweigh the benefits.

Next I want to take a look at the scoop he has on the front. You almost had it right on this one Kirkman. But what is your fascination with spikes? The spikes at the top of the scoop will trap zombie bodies in the scoop, making for dangerous messy cleanup, and possible dragging a body with you throughout an entire city. Once you get one body stuck, the functionality of the scoop is diminished, and would prevent it from doing what you wanted it there for in the first place. Take the spikes off and you could go through snow, debris covered roadways, and even zombie hoards with a whole lot less problems.

I like the idea of the steel plates over the windows. They would protect them to prevent things from breaking the windows. But you don’t want to go overboard with them. Driving blind is just as dangerous as hand to hand combat with a zombie. Find a way to adjust them so they don’t block your vision, but can be pulled down to protect the windows when not in motion, and you have a solid idea there. Just make sure to find a way for the wipers to work. You’ll need a way to clean the blood off the windshield.

Now the roof of the car I really do like. The spotlights will be useful for illuminating the road so you can really see if zombies, animals, or people are in the roadway. And as you probably don’t have to worry about too many drivers, it’s ok to drive with your high beams on. The cage is good to protect a gunner up top. In a defensive situation the gunner could still be relatively safe even with zombies getting closer to the car.

Now I would like to offer a few suggestions to make the car design a little better. Let’s start with a winch. As it’s not a truck, you won’t have a ball hitch in the back to bring along a camper or a trailer or anything. A wench could provide you the means of securing something in place of a ball hitch. Not to mention it would be useful for getting yourself out of a ditch, clearing vehicles out of the way if necessary, or hoisting someone or something, up and down a cliff.

Another suggestion is more for the interior. Make sure you take out the back seats and set up storage compartments for ammo and food and other supplies. A gun rack back there can keep your weapons safe and stowed away, while being easily accessible. You also want to go leather interior. It will probably make it easier to clean off the zombie blood.

My last suggestion would be to put a security bar around the vehicle. This can act as a “whole vehicle bumper” in case you get into tight situations. If you have to rub up against a building or another car, the security bar would protect the body of the car. You don’t want to compromise the body of the vehicle as it would likely provide you less protection.

Somehow I doubt Hyundai will be offering any of this in their options packages. Worse yet, the customizations will probably not be covered by your car insurance company, but hey, it will look real cool.

Share your ideas on how to help improve the car design by putting your comments below. If you have ideas or suggestions for the blog, email me at penguinprince@grimcrew.com. You can also follow Dead Future on Facebook and Google +. You can also follow me on Twitter and Google +.

Till Fate brings our Future…

Penguin Prince